The Learning Spark

  I’m filled with so many emotions when I look at this picture. Tenderness, sadness, regret. The signs of dyslexia were there, but I didn’t see them. I didn’t even know them. Back then we spent so much time memorizing those “sight words.” He remembered that the word “of” has an o and an f, but he couldn’t remember the order (hadn’t mapped those letters and sounds). I think it’s pretty clever that he tried to spell the word “love” with the same letters he heard in the word “of.” And he often mixed up letter names…so when he wanted to write, “I love you, Mom” he put a y instead of the letter u for the word “you.” Oh my heart. I can see the struggle and the effort this writing took…and I love that it’s a picture of me and him…flying drones together on a train track. -He’s always loved trains. I didn’t see the signs of dyslexia. I didn’t even know what dyslexia was. If I had known how to help my son when he was in kindergarten, I could have prevented so much heartache. I can imagine wh...

My son has experienced many highs and lows since I wrote the blog post  Childhood Depression and How You can Help , but at the end of his 3rd grade year he seemed to hit rock bottom. It could be because I had not been as vigorous and proactive with his depression as I had the previous year. I perhaps got a little relaxed with some of the ideas I felt so passionately about. -But he also started to really compare himself to his peers at this age, and the gaps in his learning were becoming more and more apparent to him. He’d stare dejectedly at all his school assignments…a big, red 1 at the top of each paper…and he’d anxiously tell me that everyone else in his class got 3’s.  I will never forget the day he looked me in the eyes and said, “I wish I was one of those babies that got left in a hot car.” It took my breath away. My beautiful son was sinking. Suddenly we were bombarded with suicidal thoughts, desires, and comments. “I wish I was dead!” he would scream desperately over a...

When N was diagnosed with depression last year, I was devastated!  He was only 7 years old...I felt like I had failed as a mother.  I mean, what sort of mom can't make her child happy?  Of course this is a totally unfair assumption, but those were the thoughts running through my mind at the time.  When the doctor had asked N if he was happy, he replied, "Not very much."  This broke. my. heart. Dyslexia and depression often go hand in hand and the reason is obvious.  Every day N is forced to be in an environment that constantly reminds him he is failing.  Dyslexia doesn't just affect his reading ability but every aspect of his learning and life.  Handwriting is tedious, spelling feels hopeless, learning facts near impossible, multi-step directions are overwhelming, he even struggles to recall certain words as he speaks.   Every day he goes to school knowing he will face countless hurdles that are simply too high. No matter how hard ...

Something's Off      As mentioned in this post, I knew something was off with N from the time he was very little.  His speech was delayed and he didn't walk until he was 2 years old.  When N was 3, my neighbors and I organized a preschool co-op and I was surprised to see how much N struggled to learn new things (especially letter recognition).  What was going on?  N was exposed to lots of literature, education, museums, etc.  I had done everything I had done with my older two boys, and yet N was not progressing as his big brothers had.  I knew there was something wrong...this was more than just being a "late bloomer." Auditory Processing Disorder? One possibility I explored was auditory processing disorder or some other type of hearing disability.  N was very slow to react to auditory sounds...I often found myself quietly calling his name to see if he could hear me.  When he was 3, we took him to an audiologist where he ac...

Something Is Off      I knew early on that something was off with my son.  I will call him "N" on my blog to protect his privacy.  N's speech was delayed as a baby/toddler and he didn't walk until he was 2 years old.  In his preschool years I knew that he had some type of learning disability. (Watch for a future post on this topic.)  Learning the alphabet was so difficult for him and I remember being puzzled that it was taking him so long to learn new things.  Following multi-step directions was extremely difficult for him, as was cleaning his room, and getting ready for the day.  I always had to help him get dressed by telling him what to do one step at a time. ADHD? I never even considered that N had ADHD...he was a very calm child, not hyper-active at all.  He also had the ability to really hyper-focus on things that he was interested in.  He could build a train track for hours or sit and listen to books with no problem....